The Doc Robbins’ Show Part Seven Jim
Announcer: “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Doc Robbins’ Show ! Today’s guest is a good ole boy from Jersey. Jim Brass! “ the crowd cheer their love for the old dawg. “And now here’s the star of our show DOC ROBBINS!” The crowd cheers and whoops as Doc comes out on stage.
“Alright, alright, you all got read you Miranda Rights. Ohhh, it was the body search that made you all so happy…..I see the smiles on the ladies faces. Old Nicky boy did a few of ya didn’t he? And you guys….mmmm Sofia’s got some nice moves doesn’t she?” The audience sounded like dogs in heat at a kennel. “Yeah, yeah, calm down or we’ll arrest the lot of ya. That would please our guest today. He really loves that phrase…’you’re under arrest’. Just tickles him more then any thing. So…..Jim..get out here!”
The audience stood and cheered as Doc walked to his seat and stood waiting for Jim to get out to him. Jim did a quick pace trot and jumped on the platform and shook Doc’s hand and looked at the audience. “Ahhh shut up and sit down before I take ya in.” And the audience cheered even louder. “Thick crowd here, they don’t listen….yep, they’re all guilty as sin.”
“Yeah of loving you Jim. You got a huge fan base out there. You might not be the sex symbol but, you are king of the one liners.”
“I’m not the sex symbol? . Damn.” He snapped his fingers. “Oh well, can’t say I do bad. Grissom throws me a bone once in a while. All the women he turns down…well let’s say they need a hug and a shoulder to cry on and old Jim boy is here to serve.” The ladies applauded and whistled.
“Well, well I see you have a few satisfied customers there. You old dawg. Who said you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?”
“Hey, I took a few lessons from Lady Heather. That’s one smart broad, and I mean that in the NICEST sense. Had a blast with her.”
“YOU spent time with Lady Heather? YOU?”
“Well yeah, I mean…she brushed me off and then Gil kinda blew it and well….I went to check on her. Make sure she was okay and well we had lunch. And ya know, she just a nice lady.” The audience mumbled a bit. “Nauggggh, get your minds outta the gutters! Nothing happened. I don’t step on my friends’ ladies. We talked and then we had fun. Plain good, old fun.”
“Doing WHAT? Or can’t you say it on tv?” Doc sat forwards and looked at Jim with one eyebrow up. “Are you guilty of a ummm damn what is the code for illegal sex….”
“One nineteen or a one twenty and NO! We…went to the firing range. Shot off a few rounds. She needed a bit of instructions and she was nailing the center of the target in twenty minutes. Best damn shot I’ve seen in years. And then she traded me off for some whip lessons. I can’t quite put out a candle without knocking it off the table….but I’m working on it.” He smiled and chuckled. “Damn fine lady.”
“Mmm, so are you going to ….trade your badge for a whip at Lady Heather’s place?”
“Me? Naugggh, I just like to try new things once in a while and that was fun! Did you know that Heather also has a ranch outside the city?” Doc’s eyebrow went up. “Yeap, and it’s a nice place to go and get away from the animals running the streets of Vegas. You can actually see the stars out there. And she knows all their names. Smart broad…I just love her! NOT that way….get them minds outta the gutter. She’s a LADY. Just because she’s a working girl…don’t mean she’s not a lady.”
“Well sounds like you are kinda fond of her Jim. Should Grissom be worried?”
“Me? Naugghhh, she’s not over Gil. Are you kidding, the sparks fly around so fast and furious when they are together….the smoke detectors go off. And I’m glad for the old Bugman. Really am. And well I can’t see a better couple. If he errr the writers ever get their shit together.”
“Ahhhh that brings us to why were are here. What was your opinion of the whole situation?”
Jim sat back and looked at Doc as he rubbed his face with his one hand. “Well …ya know Gil, Cath and I have been a team for quite a while. And we go way back. Things haven’t always been good between us but….there ain’t two people in the world that I don’t trust more or love more then those two. Too bad Gil never woke up and saw what was right underneath his nose the whole time. Hell they are so married.”
“Gil and Cath? MARRIED?”
“Yeah not in the biblical sense… but think about it. Who covers each others’ ass? They do. Who finishes each other’s sentences? They do. Who showed up and took care of Gil after his operation? Hell who KNEW about it? She did. Who showed up at the hospital when Cath’s family was in the hospital….oh wait that hasn’t happened yet. But Gil was right there.”
“Oh…you know what’s happening in the new season? Spill some for us!” Doc motioned to the audience, “We would all LOVE to know. The crap, er spoilers that are leaking….well they come from the dumpsters and well smell like it too.”
“Nope, ain’t saying nothing. Just gotta wait until it’s shown, then it’s set in stone. Before that just nuthin’ but crap. Gil taught me that. No proof, no conviction. And even then sometimes the horror of the crime….well there just ain’t enough punishment in the world.” He shook his head.
“So that’s your take on the ‘situation’?”
“Well, it’s not my place to tell anyone what to do in a relationship….but…” he sighed, “….how in the hell can you go from Catherine to Terri to Heather and then….well now Sara’s someone I work with…but still ….nope. Just ain’t right, no way no how. Nope.”
“So did you say something to Gil?”
“Yeah I said something. And I did something. That man saved my life. And I can never repay him for that…never. But I took back my power of attorney. Ghees, if his mind went South that fast, how the hell can I trust him with my life again. No way. I’m turning it over to Catherine. Gil’s done lost his fritchin’ mind. I thought the man was deaf but shit he’s blind to boot.” Jim shuddered. “ I thought Gil had ‘high brow’ taste. Ya know, champaign, caviar, museums, opera. Now he’s hot dogs, beer and Pee Wee Herman videos. The man’s completely off his mark. Don’t think I would ever stand near him in a gun fight, he wouldn’t know which way to aim the gun. Sad, sad, thing to see happen to a friend.”
“Well what DID you do or say to Grissom?”
“Ya mean besides taking back the power of attorney? Well, I went to see Heather and told her the news. She’s a pale woman naturally, doesn’t go out in the sun without protection…but this turned her as white as a sheet and I had to grab her to keep her from throwing one of those errr Bowhemian crystal vases at the wall. Gil, I just looked at him and walked away. I knew if I said something to him, well not only would it kill our friendship, it would be a hell of a lot harder to work together. Between Lady Heather and myself….I think we shot off over a thousand rounds and whipped so much cow hide that, there’s a lot of naked cows walking around and…well, let’s say it took a few hours to get it out of both our systems. But….. Gil’s a grown man, he can do what he wants. The fact that he threw away HIS career is one thing. That he threw OUR careers away ….well that’s something else.”
“Seems everyone is looking into something else to start working on. What about you? Looking for a new job? Gonna retire? What?”
“Retire? Me? Nauuugggh, I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing. Ain’t got that long before I get a good pension, but I’m not ready to head out to the pastures yet.”
“Did you say anything to Sara? She’s the root of this whole thing.”
“Yeah she is. If she had only left after the Holly Gribbs thing…we wouldn’t have this whole mess. Mmm, well I took her out after shift for a couple of beers. And we talked, I had one beer and well she downed a case a minute. Gods I always thought women had to take a trip to the ‘Ladies Room’ every five minutes while they drank, but Sara…..hell she went for four hours straight without a pause, and well….she insisted she could drive home…so I let her. And well….” Jim snapped his fingers, “…..someone phoned in a drunk driver call and well, she’s got her second or is that third offense on the books now. They couldn’t and wouldn’t let Grissom brush this one under the table.” He smiled evilly. Doc high fived him. “One more and she can’t drive anymore and no license, no job. Ain’t thata damn shame?”
“Well Jim I think I should show you something then…might explain something to you.” Doc handed Him the same folder he showed Greg.
“Well I’ll be damned. Sam to Sara. Well now that makes more sense.”
“What does?”
“Why the hell every time I see Sara outside the rest rooms, she er he err well she goes back and forth between the two doors. Looking like she’s trying to figure out which one to go in. Maybe she’s trying to figure out whether to sit or stand.” Jim chuckled.
Again Doc high fived Jim. “You are a sneaky dawg. Where did you learn all that underhanded police work?”
“Hey I’m from Jersey. That covers it all.”
