Another Maggie & Della piece.
“Come on Dell, it’s the LEAST you can do.”  Dan  was trying to get Della to off her duff and help him wash Alex and Maggie’s cars.

“Why? I don’t drive and I don’t care what the car looks like…I can’t see it!”

“Makes no difference, Maggie takes you everywhere just about. There’s just about enough pollen on that car to make anyone squeeze their heads off.  Let’s go.”   Dan found Della and was dragging her off the couch.  Alex and Maggie were fixing dinner in the kitchen.  “Hey you two, we will be back soon.”   He pulled Della out the front door with the aid of Samson.

“So smartie, where’s the soap and bucket? “ Della stood with her hands on her hips at the bottom of the steps.  “Like me, you don’t see them. DUH.”

“Well Missy, I heard Alex saying he’d wash the cars after dinner and he set the bucket down so it’s here somewhere.  Start feeling with your feet till ya hit something.” Dan suddenly started as Della walked behind him.  “OUCH!”

“I hit something.” Della smiled, all teeth.

“Snartass.”

“Well you didn’t say WHAT I should hit.  Right Samson?”

“Woof.”

“Traitor.”  Dan looked downward at his dog.  He didn’t see the dog rolling its eyes.  But he did hear the kicking of a bucket.  “Find it?”

“Ow, son of a ….yeah.  Sponges in there and, uh, here’s a plastic bottle with a top pop lid.  Guess it’s soap.  Smells like it.”  Della put far too much in the bucket.  “Where’s the hose?  Gotta be close to the house.  Don’t think they would let them use the fire hydrant…could blast the car into the next block.”  Della chuckled at herself.

“You are a sick puppy you know that?”   Dan didn’t see Della holding the hose out so she wouldn’t get sprayed.  She turned it on. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

“Whoops. Samson are you okay?’

The dog spit out water from his mouth… GGGGWWWooof.”

“What about ME?”  Dan was dripping.

“Ahh you’ll live.  Think the bucket’s full.  Now find the car.”  Della walked out with her hand in front of her.  Neither one of them brought their cane for the short trip outside.  She ran into Dan and spilled soap on him.   “Oops.”

“You are SERIOUSLY trying to kill me.  Samson!”    Dan heard a ‘woof’ from a slight distance.  “TRAITOR !!”  He turned towards the sound of cars going up the street.  “This way.”

“Oh now that’s like the scarecrow in the ‘Wizard of Oz’….that way.”  Della pointed her arms in both directions at the same time.  “Not like you are gotta see me doing that or this.”

“Watch that finger girl!”

“Damn.”

“I can tell when a woman’s giving me an opinion finger.”

“Damn.”  Della made her way over to the car…at least the car she found.  “I’ll do this half if you do the other half.  That way we won’t kill one another.”

“Sounds good. “   Dan took a sponge and started on Maggie’s car.  Della was up way too far and was unknowingly washing someone else’s car.   There wasn’t too much conversation while they worked.  Samson, on the other hand, was looking back and forth between the two wondering which of them was more in need of his help or if he should just let them figure it out.  In truth the dog was laughing inside.

“Ready for the hose?”  Dan shouted as he picked it up.

“Fire away.”   Della stood back too far and heard a car honk and jumped back inwards.  “Too far.  I said FIRE!”

“I AM hosing off the car.”

“Really?  Then how come I can’t feel any spray?”

“Where the heck are you?”

“Boston.  You?”

“Arlington.”

“Smartass, where on the street?  And don’t say in-between two cars!”

“Samuel Street.”  Dan smiled knowing it would piss Della off.

“Where’s that damned hose?”   They heard a ‘woof’.  Both of them turned toward Samson and at the same time….

“Be quiet.”

“Okay I think it’s rinsed off enough.”    Dan turned the sprayer off.

“What? I can still feel soap!”  Della was roaring.

“What car are you washing?”

“One with four wheels.  A mirror I keep hitting.  Ahhh one door….wait Maggie has a four door.” Della stood up suddenly. “Shit -  I’m washing somebody else’s car! Damn it.”

“Well maybe they’ll pay you something.  Best hose it off.  Then get BACK this way and do the FRONT of Maggie’s car.  I’ll start on the front of Alex’s car.   Think you can handle that?”

In a tiny voice Della retorted, “Think you can handle that…”

“I heard that.”

“Woof!”

“Oh shut up.”  Della glared in what she thought was Samson’s direction but she was facing the road again.   She grabbed the soapy sponge and started to walk.  She ended up on the other side of the narrow street.  She started washing Maggie’s neighour’s car.  She had the front half done and was looking for the bucket.  “Now where is that damn bucket?”

“Dell?”

“Dan?”

“Why is your voice coming from the OTHER side of the street?”

“Oh shit.”

“BE CAREFUL !!  Listen to see if another car is coming.  Follow my voice.”  Dan kept talking to give Della some direction.  She was walking arms out and sponge in hand.    “Keep coming, keep …..glub glub….”   Dan started spitting out soap and sponge.

“Oops.  Well I DID find you.  Ha ha ha.”   Dan had the hose in his hands.    “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”  Della screamed as the cold water hit her.

Samson looked up to Maggie and Alex standing in the doorway watching the entire thing happening.  So were the rest of the neighours.

“Think it’s time to move.”  Alex looked down at Maggie.

Maggie looked over at Dan, then back at Alex. She nodded. “I’ll start right after dinner.”

“Then again….let’s see how Della does with waxing the car.”  Alex had a smirk on his face.   “She’s got the low cut cotton tee shirt on and no bra again.”

Maggie looked at the dripping Della.  “DELLA !!!”

Della raised her hands. “Well, it’s comfortable!”

Alex shook his head. “I hereby declare Della Peterson winner of the wet T-shirt contest. Dan, old buddy, those pectorals don’t even come close.”

The neighbors clapped and each one, in turn, thanked Della for washing their
car….and the show.